Tangents
February 6th, 2010 § 2 Comments
I’m at that stage in my novel where I’m struggling to find my groove. I’ve been thinking about writing it for so long that now that I have the time all the musings I had are a bit stale. I’m preparing for a school talk in a couple of weeks and was searching my old writing to include as part of the talk. Came across my first novel which I’ve always wanted to revisit. So of course I start thinking about how I would re-work this novel and now this is the idea that has my juices flowing.
This leads to a crisis. Am I struggling to find the story because it’s over, the moment to write that novel has been and passed, and it’s time to move onto something else? Or am I self-sabotaging with this shiny new idea that I want to dive into?
After some more reflection I think it’s the former. As writers we love to put up roadblocks for ourselves. Self sabotage by procrastinating. There is always a shiny new idea that we want to work on. I learnt that I had to decide on a story and then stick to it. Not go of on a tangent with every new idea that comes to mind otherwise I’ll never finish anything.
While I’m frustrated with my progress with the current project I have to keep remembering there are a few forces at work. Yes, the idea is a bit stale now, but that doesn’t matter. It always takes a while to write something and you keep going through the process of falling in and out of love with your manuscript. Eventually there is enough there that it keeps pulling you despite yourself and it isn’t such hard work, so I have to just stick it out until that happens.
But also I’m a bit rusty. Not writing on a regular basis has slowed my skills. My brain feels a bit slow and mushy. Words aren’t flowing, ideas aren’t buzzing in my brain. All I can do is practice and practice. Focus on wordcount until quality begins to improve.
The best quote I’ve read lately is:
‘I’m not a very good writer, but I’m an excellent rewriter.’ ~James Michener
And this is what gives me hope. At the moment I’m writing 1000 words a day. They’re awful 1000 words, but eventually I’ll pull out 10 words from every 100 and polish them and make them sparkle. A friend is going through the process of producing a draft and whinging about hating the revision process, whereas I love it. If I am revising it means I have the story there and it’s like a crumpled piece of paper that I have to smooth and wrestle out the creases until it’s crisp and clean again.
And so the battle continues.
I totally understand, I have so many half finished stories saved on my computer that it depresses me. I’m constantly distracted by a new idea and if I get stuck in a story I just abandon it and move on to something else. Its an awful habit, I need to work on my discipline!! I liked how you said that you fall in and out of love with your manuscript throughout the process, I’d never thought about it like that and it’ll help me keep focused and wait for myself to fall back in love when I’m struggling!
Yes, I’m out of love right now. I’m trying to fake it, but it’s not working. I have to take the time and reconnect-maybe using a reference book to get my juices flowing again.