Reading Matters conference
May 31st, 2009 § 5 Comments
This weekend I had a taste of what it’s like to be a working mum, and man is it some hard yakka. So far my publicity engagements have necessitated me being available for an hour at the most. It would be a matter of going there, doing my thing and coming back. This weekend I was expected to attend as much of the conference as possible, which under any other circumstances would be a joy.
The Reading Matters conference is attended by teachers and librarians and is about encouraging young people to read. The vibe was fabulous and the content and program amazing. I had the best time on my panel with Randa Abdel-Fattah and Libby Gleeson. Before the panel I was nervous, but as soon as I was up on stage the nerves disappeared as I looked out at the sea of welcoming faces. It was fantastic.
Hubby and baby came with me as my entourage. They were set up in an adjoining building as the crowds would disrupt Sofia too much. As I said I was nervous before hand and I’m trying to feed her so she’ll be right for the time I’m on the panel. But she’s a bit tired and is picking up on my stress levels. I’m trying to force her on the boob and she’s crying. So I cuddle her and hope she’ll be ok while I’m doing my thing, even though I know in my heart she won’t.
I do my thing and it was amazing. I rush back because I know Sofia is hungry. I get there and my husband is pushing the pram. ‘She just fell asleep a few minutes before you came,’ he says. ‘She cried the whole time.’ I can see by her face that she’s fallen asleep because she’s exhausted from crying. Her eyes have dark circles and her face is not relaxed while she sleeps.
Hubby is stressed out. While he was walking her he had a kind-hearted woman approached him asking if he needed help with the baby. A lovely gesture, but when you have a crying baby in public and you can’t calm them, you just feel like everyone is staring and judging you. Something that is now confirmed.
Now it’s the quandary, how long to let her sleep so she’s not as tired, when to wake her so she has enough time to feed. She wakes up, I put her on the boob. She’s sucking half heartedly, keeps detaching and swirling her head. Finally I cotton on to covering her with a blanket so she can’t see around herself. She can now differentiate surroundings and because it’s unfamiliar she keeps checking it out. She starts seriously feeding.
I finish feeding and return to the conference. It’s lunch time and I’m set up at the table to sign books. I have a great time chatting to participants and signing my book, but the experience highlights a few things I haven’t thought through:
1. I don’t have a pen. Thankfully my publicist Cora was able to produce one. So I need to know make sure all my bags have a few pens in there for such occasions.
2. Like most writers I spent years practicing my signature for the day when I would have a book to sign, but I never thought about the inscription. People like a personalised message, but I can’t think of anything and write the incredibly banal message ‘Hope you enjoy my book.’ So from now I need to think about the inscription for the occasion. If my brain had been functioning I could have written a personalised message about the conference. Something like: ‘Great to meet you at the 2009 Reading Matters conference.’ At the moment it’s still such a shock that people want me to sign the book and I’m so overwhelmed by everything that’s going on that my brain shuts down.
3. Some attendees took my photo. The only way I can do a good photo is with a prop to distract me. From now on I need to make sure I hold a copy of the book because it is excruciating having my photo taken. I just stiffen up plaster on a fake smile.
I had the opportunity to meet some on-line peeps. Adele from Persnickety Snark blog who gave me my first review. It was great having a chat with you Adele. Hopefully our paths will cross again in real life, but until then we have our blogs to keep in touch. Demet who is Facebook buddy. Coming from a Turkish background Demet could relate a lot to my book, especially being chased by the oklagiya. And Kevin who is the first person that sent me my first genuine fan email after reading my book. Thank you so much and keep passionately reading. Judith-great to see you again. Hopefully we’ll keep meeting up at these events and have a proper chat soon.
Mike Shuttleworth who’s the convenor was so lovely and the conference was amazing. I’m looking forward to attending next year, sans baby, and being able to enjoy the whole conference as an attendee.
And to all the working mothers out there-you have my complete understanding and support. Walking in your shoes for one day made me realise how fortunate I’ve been to so far be able to enjoy motherhood without the stresses of juggling the two. The whole weekend I felt cleaved in two and I didn’t feel like I did either justice. I ended up with a cranky, overtired baby whose routine is now disrupted (hopefully it will settle in a few days) and am filled with paranoia that I didn’t do enough to meet my professional obligations. It’s an awful tightrope and one I’m hoping to sidestep for a while yet.
This experience has highlighted the need to tighten the purse strings and make our savings last until the end of the year so I don’t have to deal with working while breastfeeding. The book promotion will only get easier as she gets older because it doesn’t involve an all day commitment, but the need for day job to pay the bills can hopefully be put off.
Thanks Amra! You made me a little teary reading this post. It was beyond fantastic to finally meet you. I hope we can meet again too! And yes, consider this the continuance of our blog merging
Cheers Adele. It’s amazing how the internet can bring people together.
Hi Amra,
It was great to see you at the conference. You spoke really well, with nary a trace of nervousness.
Hope Sofia is now back in routine
Claire
(was great to meet Adele too…she wins the ‘best question to the panel (even if the wrong person answered it…) award’
Hey Amra -
Saw you at the conference and can’t believe you were nervous! You spoke so well and the entire panel was fabulous – great session. I was lucky enough to get my book signed and spent this afternoon reading it. I enjoyed it very much and am pleased to hear that you are working on another.
Claire, I want to know more about the best question. Everything is a blur for me at the panel.
Thanks Katherine. Glad you enjoyed the book. I’m working in slow spurts, depending on the bebe.