Amra Pajalic

Motherhood Lessons learnt

1. Breastfeeding is bloody hard work. The baby is attached to you pretty much all the time, it feels like it sucks you dry.
2. Breastfeeding hurts. When your milk is being let down it’s like pins and needles and if like me you have trouble attaching the baby at first your nipples will feel like they’ve been scraped with sandpaper.
3. You will do anything to quiet a crying baby. All your lofty parenting ambitions go out the window when you’re faced with a baby that cries so hard it chucks a fit.
4. You know that certain strategies you implement to quiet a crying baby will bite you in the bum, but when you’re in a sleep induced haze, you do them anyway and deal with the consequences afterwards.
5. Even when you’re onto a winning strategy, you’ll forget what works in the sleep induced exhaustion, until someone reminds you a week later and then you remember.
6. Swaddling works.
7. So does letting the baby cry herself out.
8. Even though you think you’re not suffering from hormones, when you have a few freak temper tantrums and crying fits, you’ll realise you’re not immune.
9. Don’t tell anyone you don’t have to worry about mastitis. The next day you’ll wake up feeling sore.
10. Cabbage works to soothe mastitis.
11. The smell of cabbage and leaking breast milk is revolting.
12. Mop up any breastmilk spillage-it will smell like curdled sour milk if you don’t.
13. You always love your baby-but you love it more after a good sleep.
14. You will be surprised by what sort of a parent you will be. I didn’t want to do attachment parenting, but since I’ll only probably be doing this once, I’ve given in and am riding it out, with my baby sown to my hip.

Sandra Ruttan tagged me a few days ago and this is my first chance to respond.

1.    I didn’t see my natural hair colour for 16 years. The first time I died my hair was when I was 13 and I grew out my natural hair colour at 29. After a couple of years I’ve decided that natural is way overrated and I’m back to dyeing my hair blonde.

2.    I will never again show off my midriff after stretchmarks from pregnancy have written their story on my stomach.

3.    I can’t sleep at night without my baby. I never wanted to be one of those mothers that’s constantly attached to their kids but now find I can’t fight biology. I literally can’t sleep if she’s not in the bed with me and this started from the first day of her birth.

4.    Reading is an addiction, not a hobby.

5.    I love to eat fruit and eat an apple a day.

6.    I got a tattoo when I was 21. While most people say that you will regret getting a tattoo as you get older I don’t. It was part of my journey to self-expression and led to where I am today.

7.    I had my navel pierced when I was 22 and after falling pregnant had it taken out. I will not be re-piercing. Read number 2.

8.    I have had three surgeries in my life. The first when I was 2 years old to repair two holes in my heart, the second when I was 5 to repair a hernia and the third when I was 16 on my nose.

9.    Everyone says that my daughter Sofia has my nose, which is weird because I had a nose job.

10.    I got married when I was 19 years old. Most people say that’s too young, but I was never young so that was a moot point.

11.    I regret not getting better marks in high school. I was capable of a lot more, but I took the easy way out and my end of year score still bugs me.

12.    I want to complete a Masters. This goes back to coming from a non-English speaking background and having a chip on my shoulder about this. I thought completing a degree would stop this, but it’s still there.

13.    I have three cats.

14.    I always wanted a dog, but am put off by how time intensive they are.

15.    I want to write a crime series one day.

16.    I find it hard to spend money on clothes, but always have money for books.

Sofia Amelie Pajalic was born Monday 29 December 2008 at 9.46 pm, 51 cm and 3.740 kg to Amra and Fikret Pajalic.

While giving birth wasn’t easy, I’d take it any day of the week over being pregnant. I thought I’d be squeamish about the whole process but I was so desperate not to be pregnant that every medical procedure that brought me closer to the end result was greeted with joy and every medical professional like a long-lost friend.

I had to be induced because of the gestational diabetes and being on insulin. I had the induction booked for nearly 2 weeks before, but wasn’t telling anyone the date because I didn’t want them asking on the day.

When I got in on Monday I’d already dilated to 1 cm so they didn’t do the gels and instead broke my water. By 1 pm I hadn’t had any contractions so they put me on the drip. By 6 pm I’d only dilated to 3 cm and we were all disheartened. I was using gas throughout the labour and it was wonderful. I’ve never been high and apparently I was a riot with my best friend Veronica and husband having a good giggle. The gas mostly worked and toward the end when it didn’t, at least it gave me something to focus on.

Then I had the worst hour of my life where pain just kept coming at me in waves and I nearly blacked out 3 times. I was asking for an epidural because I was fading. I had a pethadine but couldn’t take it anymore.

Just when the midwife paged the anaesthologist she did another examination and I was fully dilated. I started pushing and 90 minutes later I was so close but she wouldn’t come out. They ended up using the vacuum and two pushes later she was out. The feeling of having her yanked out was so bloody wonderful. It signaled an end to my ordeal and not even the half an hour needed to stitch me up could put a dampener on my spirits.

The first week has been challenging. Getting used to each other and figuring out different things. I had some trouble breastfeeding because I wasn’t attaching her properly and hurt my nipples so ended up expressing for 24 hours. I gave her formula twice while I was in hospital because I was stressing she wasn’t getting enough milk. I’ve had her on the breast now for about four days and am figuring out the rhythm of her feeds. Trying not to feed on demand and rather do a schedule but realising she needs a bit more milk than that.

I had trouble figuring out how to sleep. Fikret was taking care of her while I went to sleep but I couldn’t switch off. Last night I tried co-sleeping and it’s worked well. I had the best sleep I’ve had since she was born.

Otherwise things are great. Fikret and I have always worked as a team doing things around the house, but now he’s been doing all the housework (at least one load of washing a day) etc while I take care of baby. I don’t know what I would have done without him. The last few days I’ve been able to enjoy her a little more.

It’s been uncomfortable because of the stitches (I had to be cut because of the vacuum) but it hasn’t been too painful. The sleep depravation isn’t pleasant, but I finally had a better sleep last night so feeling a little more in control. Could use some more sleep, especially since she’s been down for a while but I’ll get the hang of using every minute of her being down.

Sofia had a bit of jaundice for the first few days but thankfully it was mild. Exposure to sunlight and frequent feeds have flushed it out of her system. She looks pretty pink now so I think she’s completely over it.