Most people dream about having something unique about them, something that sets them apart from the norm. As someone who has that distinction I can tell you with absolute certainty-it’s way overrated. In fact it doesn’t make you unique, rather it makes you a freak.

I am now 8 months and 1 week pregnant and I am still vomiting. Most women stop after their first trimester-not me. I have vomited pretty much every day. And the few days that I didn’t vomit average out by a day like today.

Today I woke early to go to Big W and buy season 7 of Scrubs that was on sale. I threw up before I left, but that’s par for the course. One for the road to clear out the pipes and then I’m ready for the day. Not even five minutes from my house I had to pull over and use a vomit bag that I have just for this type of emergency in my car. So there I am, on the side of the road, bent over the nature strip, vomiting into a vomit bag.

Now comes the dilema. What do I do with the vomit bag? I’m not a litterer. In fact I do a lot to reduce my environmental footprint and pride myself on all of my efforts. But I’m on a suburban street and it’s not garbage day. I have a vomit bag that I need to dispose of and no rubbish bin to be found.

Now the logical thing would be to put my vomit bag in my car and dispose of it in the nearest bin, but I can’t have a bag of vomit in a hot car with me. That’s going to set off my vomit reflex because one of the other lovely side-effects of pregnancy is an extremely sensitive nose.

And now my dilemma gets more complicated. While I’ve been debating what to do with my vomit, ants have collected. So now I can’t put the vomit bag in the car because of the ants and because of the smell. So I wrap it in a plastic bag and leave it on the lawn for the innocent householder to dispose of.

Yes, not only have I debased myself by vomiting in public-yet again, now I’m reduced to performing disgusting public nuisance acts and I hate myself. I finally reach my destination and buy Scrubs at Big W, all the time feeling nauseas and like I could vomit at any point.

I drive home and this time I make it home, but not into my house and I vomit in my driveway for more than five minutes. At this point I haven’t eaten anything since the night before so all I’m vomiting is bile. I get in the house and after scrubbing my teeth out for 5 minutes I drop into bed, completely exhausted.

After two hours I wake up, have a couple of crackers to settle my stomach and make a sandwich. It takes me half an hour to eat the sandwich-because I feel like I could vomit at any moment, but I eat it all and I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve managed to eat and hopefully my nightmare will be over.

I still feel crap in the stomach, but I’m thinking that’s fine, it will settle. An hour later it all comes back up, with that lovely acid aftertaste from fermenting in my gut but not digesting of course. Now I’m off the only meal that’s been working for the past few weeks-a cheese and tomato sandwich and will have to experiment yet again for something else to eat to settle my stomach-until I vomit that a few times and can’t stand it.

So now the count is four vomits, the last one with a lovely huge nosebleed. I feel gutted. Thankfully I have left-over chicken and vegies from yesterday that I stretch out with rice. So I sit down and eat, keeping my fingers crossed that it will stay down.

Yes, success. It worked. But after vomiting four times in one day and barely having a glass of water to drink I’m feeling drained, exhausted and weepy. So I start crying because it’s been such a crappy day. I’m feeling dreadfully sorry for myself because this pregnancy has been shit pretty much from the day I found I was pregnant and even though I can see light at the end of the tunnel-I only have three weeks to go-I’m so exhausted and sick of being sick, that even that thought doesn’t cheer me up.

And this is why I haven’t blogged much. Because all I have to contribute are chuck up stories. So enjoy while I count the minutes left of this inglorious day.

PS-yes there are drugs for morning sickness. I have at least one a day. Today I actually had two tablets, but they don’t do the trick. At least not for me because I’m a freak.