Books that changed your life as a child, and made you cringe as an adult!
Posted by amrapajalic77 on 7 May, 2008
I attended a session with Neil Gaiman at the Children’s Council of Literature conference (for those of you who don’t know Neil Gaiman of the writer of Stardust Movie Fame). There were a few intersting things that came from this that keep circling my brain.
One of them was that he recently attended a Science Fiction and Horror Conference in China and that only recently China has approved of this type of literature. After realising that they are the biggest producer of items, but never the inventor of such items, they did a survey of all inventors in different countries. One of the things they discovered was that the thing that most they had in common was that they were readers of Science Fiction and Horror.
That is such an interesting fact that I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I can understand it. By reading this type of literature you’re literally stepping outside of your realm of experience and teaching your brain to do the same. It makes me think about the power of literature to influence and shape people.
As a writer I don’t feel comfortable sharing my lofty ideals with writing and you just have to focus on the entertainment factor otherwise you sound like a wanker, but in reality there are books that changed my life, that shifted my perspective and made me change. And I hope that my book can do that to someone. (See how wanky that sounds.)
Anyway the other thing he talked about was how readers influence the book. We insert all the little details between the lines on the page and make it come to life. This is why sometimes when we re-read a book that profoundly affected us as a child we’re confused because the words on the page don’t match up what’s in our head.
I had that experience with a book I re-read that I loved. The book was Easy Connections by Liz Berry. I feel embarrassed confessing this because I respect public libraries so much, but this was the book I stole from my high school library. Now when I think about this story as an adult it’s quite off. A 17 year old meets a rock star, who rapes her, she falls pregnant, hides out from him while he pursues and eventually blackmails/bullies her into a relationship.
But as a young adult that whole love angle was so enthralling. I think it’s because your idea of love are about that possessive/obsessive love that is bigger than oneself. That’s why I loved Wuthering Heights at this age too, and have wanted to re-read it for years but something has stopped me. As an adult we know that sort of love is unhealthy and gross, not something to aspire to, but as a teenager it’s what I dreamt about.
I think also the whole rape angle is about obsession with sex at that stage. You’re so curious and obsessed with it, while at the same time grossed out and scared by it, and this sort of expression of sex captures that conflict perfectly. Or maybe I’m just full of shit and it’s because I was a young idiot who didn’t know any better.
Anyway I thought about this book as an adult and felt the urge to re-read it. So I searched my whole house trying to find it and realised that somewhere along the way I’d purged it. This is when I vowed not to purge any books again. I was going to track it down and buy it when a friend said-Stop. Do a google search. You might be disappointed. So I did, and I was.
It still doesn’t change that this book served it’s purpose for me as a teenager, but it makes me wary about re-reading other books. I’ve got all of the Anne of Green Gables series and remember how much I loved her book. When I was re-reading my diary I found all this quotes attributed to LMM and it took me weeks to figure out that I was quoting Lucy Maud Montgomery.
I also remember reading Forever by Judy Blume and being so influenced by the book that I vowed to hold onto my virginity until after high school and not be desperate to grow up too fast. Kept the vow too. I’ve got Judy Blume, but I’ve been scared about re-reading her. Not wanting to spoil the images in my head for what is really there.
While intellectually I know that it won’t spoil it because those books served a purpose at a particular time in my life, it still does spoil it. You analyse the books as an adult and find them wanting. You critique the writing and cringe. And you lose some of the magic in life.
Has anyone else had this experience with a book from childhood? And should I re-read the other books on my list, or stay away?
Josephine Damian said
*note to self: do not be a wanker*
I can tell you’re not planning on moving any time soon – I am within the next 12 months and am already purging books.
Don’t know about childhood books, but when I re-read one of my adult faves LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA a secnd time, it did not hold up.
Sometimes we love books due to our ability to relate to it – the character has the same problem we’re having. Doubt I’d feel the same way about ENDLESS LOVE now then what I did as a young 20-something lovesick girl.
Amra, I know I still owe you that meme – hope to have it up by this weekend.
Christa M. Miller said
I re-read most of my Madeleine L’Engle collection when I was trapped in my recliner with my first newborn, and was thrilled to find 1) how much they had informed and shaped my current ways of thinking and 2) how much I still enjoyed them.
But I do recognize what a rare treat that is. I read several of Barbara Michaels’ novels as a teen, and although I think they are part of the reason for my interest in dark fiction, they are not that well-written!
Amra Pajalic said
I got rid of books with every move and then spent months looking for something I’d ditched. And my plan is to stay in this house until I’m in pension-well almost. I freaking hate moving!!!
Josephine-don’t worry about the meme. When/if you get around to it.
Christa-I can so relate to that. I really want to re-read Anne of Green Gables becuase I remember being so enthralled in that whole world, but I’m not sure if the sepia coloured memories can live up to them. Still might be good to try soon.
Josephine Damian said
Alert the media! It’s official!
Stuart Neville, my Prince of Darkness, and the writer formerly known as “Conduit,” has landed an agent – and not just any agent – but literary powerhouse and legend, Nat Sobel.
His agency, Sobel Weber Associates, New York, represents a few scribes you might have heard of: James Ellroy (L.A. Confidential, The Black Dahlia, American Tabloid), Joseph Wambaugh (The Choirboys, The Onion Field, Hollywood Station), Pulitzer winner Richard Russo (Nobody’s Fool, Empire Falls, Bridge of Sighs), F.X. Toole (Rope Burns – adapted for the screen as the multi Oscar winning Million Dollar Baby – and Pound for Pound), Robert Jordan (the Wheel of Time series), Tim Dorsey (the Serge Storms series), and many more.
Oh, Nat also loves him some cats. My kind of guy.
And how did Stuart get on the Uber agent’s radar? I’m going to steal a bit of Stuart’s thunder and reveal to my blog peeps that Mr. Sobel scouted him on the Internet. That’s right – a big name agent was scouring the online crime magazines and plucked our man from obscurity. (of course I’ve been singing Stuart’s praises loud and clear since last fall when I first read his work in Agent Nathan’s Bransford’s writing contest). To those of you that don’t believe agents are poking around the world wide web looking for The Next Big Thing – here’s your proof. Here. Is. Your. Proof.
So do stop by and give a big shout out to the literary world’s best and brightest rising star!
http://conduitnovel.blogspot.com/
*shake my booty*
Having already read Stuarts’s manuscript (it already holds the distinction of being only one of four books I liked well enough to finish this year) GHOSTS OF BELFAST, I can tell you it’s nothing by clover ahead for this blessed son of Northern Ireland.
Josephine Damian said
Alert the media! It’s official!
Stuart Neville, my Prince of Darkness, and the writer formerly known as “Conduit,” has landed an agent – and not just any agent – but literary powerhouse and legend, Nat Sobel.
His agency, Sobel Weber Associates, New York, represents a few scribes you might have heard of: James Ellroy (L.A. Confidential, The Black Dahlia, American Tabloid), Joseph Wambaugh (The Choirboys, The Onion Field, Hollywood Station), Pulitzer winner Richard Russo (Nobody’s Fool, Empire Falls, Bridge of Sighs), F.X. Toole (Rope Burns – adapted for the screen as the multi Oscar winning Million Dollar Baby – and Pound for Pound), Robert Jordan (the Wheel of Time series), Tim Dorsey (the Serge Storms series), and many more.
Oh, Nat also loves him some cats. My kind of guy.
And how did Stuart get on the Uber agent’s radar? I’m going to steal a bit of Stuart’s thunder and reveal to my blog peeps that Mr. Sobel scouted him on the Internet. That’s right – a big name agent was scouring the online crime magazines and plucked our man from obscurity. (of course I’ve been singing Stuart’s praises loud and clear since last fall when I first read his work in Agent Nathan’s Bransford’s writing contest). To those of you that don’t believe agents are poking around the world wide web looking for The Next Big Thing – here’s your proof. Here. Is. Your. Proof.
So do stop by and give a big shout out to the literary world’s best and brightest rising star!
http://conduitnovel.blogspot.com/
*shake my booty*
Having already read Stuarts’s manuscript (it already holds the distinction of being only one of four books I liked well enough to finish this year) GHOSTS OF BELFAST, I can tell you it’s nothing by clover ahead for this blessed son of Northern Ireland.
Josephine Damian said
Amra! Tag! You’re it!
http://josephinedamian.blogspot.com/2008/05/meme-about-various-things.html
I finally did the p. 123 meme and have put it in my automated blog posting queque for Tues.